“I'm not brave any more darling. I'm all broken. They've broken me.”
— Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms
how i feel about life, studying and everything right now.
i've hit depression.
i've hit it.
i'm considering nooses.
i'm considering cutting.
being not good enough pains me.
i don't wanna do those things
but this pains me.
because of this stress,
i'm irritable and easily agitated.
i can't remember as well as i use to.
i have no motivation.
this might be phase.
this might be a momentary emotion.
but it feels done and dealt with.
i've hit it.
being young and hopeful seems like a stupid thing.
silly silly silly.
in this world it's so silly.
people tell you what to do
and you might not like it
but you have to goddamn succeed in it
so you won't be considered a disappointment.
i've hit it.
i feel like staying in bed forever and cry and stay cold or stay hot.
i want to run out and breathe breathe breathe
but i'm scared i'll scream and scare the entire neighbourhood.
ugh too much.
i've--
