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wow it's been long since i wrote any post with this much words

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i couldn't really imagine that a lot of people being sad over me leaving.
 i wonder sometimes if they all think i am a snob or something.
and when i try not to come across as one, it's hard to express myself.
i want things. i go get it.
i want to be noticed. i work hard for it.
being completely honest here, but i try.

much more, i try not to think much of it.
just do things.
it leads you to other things.
don't think, just do.

i think i've come across a point where i want to stop.
stop this train, head to a station. 10 minute break.
but coal is running out. i need to set off again.
finish this railroad.

i don't need distraction, i don't want it.
but it's hard when you have the feeling of
something clamped in the inside of your throat,
squeezing a tear from out of your eyes.

you don't ignore pain like this.
you really can't.

a friend asked how could you forget these.
truth is, i don't know.
i don't know.

but it's not something to weep over.
i absolutely refuse to.


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muet talk.

vanilla coke

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