Truest Fact

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I LOVE MY COUSINS.

though I'm living in a place far from both of my extended families,
I love them to bits.
They never fail to make me feel like, well, family.

May Allah bless all to those who already have families to the ones who aren't even a year old.
Love you people.

:')

Don't You Know How Expensive My Hair Is?

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awful trial with color pencils.
I will never learn!

But I L.O.V.E the hair. MY GOODNESS.
I want that.
I tried to make the eye-shadow a different color too.
I am seriously digging spiked shoulders.
Love spikes even before it was 'IN'.


I Very Much Do

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I Don't Know That Flower's Name

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I observed in envy.

You were there again,
but I can't remember the color of your shirt
(was it white once more?)
And I had this feeling of security again
that you were staying, and staying for good.
That wordless promise that arrives when you did.

You showed a picture you drew with black ink.
With fast, slim lines and long, thoughtful blobbed ends.
It was on a flimsy white paper like you spent all night making it.
Drips of lavender sprayed intentionally to romantacize the piece.
It was a __________ flower.

I forgot that you were skilled with your hands.
And I forgot that you could do this.
I forgot that you could surpass me.
How did I remember now?

I observed it with envy.
It enveloped me.
Reminding that you were happy and moved on
and made another masterpiece, forgetting me.
Where every time I start to draw,
I end up erasing everything over and over again
until I let go of it and realized I could move on.

The flower.
Why did you draw a flower?
Why did you made it in black ink?
Why did you ignore the colors it came with?
Why did you show me that drawing?

I woke up with the question unanswered.
That feeling of security evaporated as I inhaled the waking.
That beautiful drawing of that flower was gone but remained.
You showing me the flower was gone but remained.
Though, it was still gone.



And I watched with envy.


The Volume Is Only 84 Percent

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My sister said she can hear the songs 
I'm hearing in my earphones from 
eight feet away.

And that's how I listen to my music.

(But I'm starting to turn my head every two minutes
to the door because I keep hearing someone coming in.)





I Love This Movie

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I didn't remember the name so I have to type "Russell Crowe" into Google
and pops out "Russell Crowe Movies" and I thought, "That could work."

It's a predictable so-and-so flick
but it made me fall in love with Provence in Southeastern France.
I just remember there was this certain golden glow in the movie
and the empty swimming pool drenched in autumn leaves I found was rather poetic.



South of France.
How lovely does that sound?


I Hate Parking Technology

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You know how people complain about airports?
The meals? The seats? The attendants?
Well, I'm not bragging, but living in Malaysia and 
getting MAS airlines as our major choice, 
so far we haven't had any of those problems.

Until today.
It wasn't the plane.
It was the parking. At the airport.
Oh yeah.

My Dad was finished cancelling some tickets
and as we got back in the car, we keep on
seeing these signs that go
AUTOPARK
BEFORE CLAIMING YOUR VEHICLE PLEASE MAKE YOUR PAYMENT

And we keep on asking, 
"WHERE IS THIS PLACE WHERE WE NEED TO PAY?"
"WHAT IS AUTOPARKING?"
"HOW DO WE GET OUT OF HERE???"

So my Dad decided I should go out and ask someone in the airport, handing me the ticket and 10 ringgit.
"If there is no payment counter in there, then these people are seriously stupid."
I went out with my brother and we kind of looked around the bottom floor of the airport
like complete idiots and I asked my brother to ask the security guard but he kept ignoring me
because I know he did not want to ask that.

Instead I asked him to ask a Maybank person.
Even the Maybank Person didn't know.

I was walking past some of the shops and not seeing any payment counters,
I was completely exasperated enough by
1. not finding the payment counter
2. upset that we would be stuck in the airport forever like Tom Hanks in The Terminal 
that was based on a true story which I can't remember who exactly but if you've seen the movie, you get it.
3. my brother is so unreliable (like that surprised me)
4. I was getting hungry.

I stalked up to the Hospitatily Center (I mean, COME ON)
and I asked ever so politely, "Excuse me, do you know where to pay for the parking outside?"
And the women (the Hospitality Center inside was 'owned' by Sutera Harbour, go figure)
began to direct me that it was outside and it was "that gray box outside, near the entrance."
Of course. Why didn't I think of that?
Because of course every grey box I see is an autopark payment counter!

---In my defense, I have NEVER been exposed to the way of autoparking, obviously enough.---

So I went outside, my brother tailing behind me like a burly bodyguard 
and approached an object that passed of as "a grey box" and tentively looked at the other side.
OH MY GOSH THEY ASKED PLEASE INSERT TICKET

I was waving down my Dad as he and my other brother,
after parking the car and came to check up on our progress,
quite pleased that I found the booth.

I let an older man use it first because I was afraid it didn't give change.
(We were only there 10 minutes tops.)
I saw the man slipped in his ticket, then a 10 ringgit in it
and *plunk plunk* goes the change pocket.
He took it and went to his merry way.
I was quite dubious by this new relevation of technology in our town.

When all of us assembled, I excitedly slipped in the ticket
and hesitantly slipped in the 10 ringgit (it was slightly crinkled)
and our change was RM8.50
Are they going to give us that in coins?
No! It didn't.
On the other side of the coin pocket is the paper money pocket
and there was our change!
I might sound a little excited here but wow, this booth has 
the intelligence of an ATM machine!

But then how are they suppose to know that we payed?

When we finally drove off to the exit, I saw a similar grey machine
and I was like, "there's one RIGHT THERE!"
But it wasn't the same. Here's where'd you put the ticket.
No wonder they spit it back out from the machine earlier.

Dad put the payed ticket in the machine.
It swooped it in and never back out.
And the bargate in front went 90 degrees.

"So, where do we go now?" Dad asked.
In a not-so-simultaneous chorus, "Eat."



the booth was slightly on the left side of this place, outside


mischievous brother trying to hide from me and think I didn't know!



I Was Like Mary Poppins

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Quote of the Day:


Dad asked me to take a red umbrella with me into the airport in case it rains.
As we were leaving...



Me : Hey Pa, I think everybody's looking at me weirdly because of this umbrella.
Dad : *snootily* Why? Are you embarrassed by it?
Me : No, I think I'm pretty cool.






He Wants To Eat Ya!

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Mohinder giving me a cute meow.

I can't believe we're going to leave him soon :'(


Now That Song Is Permanently In My Head

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Is it weird that my friends *Like the video 
I shared in Facebook which was 
'Shiny Teeth and Me' from Fairly Oddparents 
because I had just learnt that 
Leonnie just had taken off her braces?

Yes.


Don't you love them for it?

Yes.

:)




She's Waiting For Them To Grow

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Gardening books when buried will not flower.
- The Way Things Are, Roger McGough

It Is Ridiculously Savoury

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I am still going to school during the holidays for anything but summer school.
(Evidently, a teacher of mines is holding one for weak Malay Language.)
Well, success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
Hm.
Not liking that percentage.

AND

Memorable Quote of the Day

Teacher Tok commenting on how young Stephy's mum look.

Steph : She's 46.
T. Tok : *looks surprised* She looked like she could be near my age.
Steph : Oh, 40?
T. Tok : *tersely* 35.


OUCH.

Advice : Always say they look 20. ALWAYS.

Which kind of reminds me of my going to restaurant and always be called 'Kak' by the waitresses.

When I come : 
Selamat datang, Kak.
WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
When I leave : Datang lagi, Kak.
NOT ON YOUR LIFE I WON'T.

But I'd be weekly greeted by that because I admit, the food there is just too good.

Don't they know that calling women 'Adik' is a general compliment unless it's 
SERIOUSLY OBVIOUS THAT THEY'RE NOT AN 'ADIK' 
EG. WOMEN WITH CANES, WOMEN WITH BENT SPINES ETC ETC
which in this case, 
AM I THAT SERIOUSLY OBVIOUSLY OLD? 

BECAUSE I'M STILL, JUST LIKE, SIXTEEN.





THANK GOD YOUR NASI GORENG IS AMAZING.



I'll Just Dot This Down

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Ideas.
Pooping---popping---like mushrooms.
yeahhhhh


Now I need to figure out which one to do.
All came just when I have bucketful of things to do.
Is it true then that inspirations strikes only, and only if,
you are actively conducting a very pressured amount of workload?

Well.
:(


Hades Supports Awareness for Child Violence

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We're going to enter the second week of holiday.


I don't know why I'm watching each grain of sand 
falling down the hourglass like a murderer waiting for doom.

I should relax myself and set my goals for next year.
Reflect and prepare.
(I'm so happy how calm and centered I am!)

Sister : Do you want me to teach some Form 5 Physics?
Me : I'm kind of sleepy.

Yeahhh.
Not a good way to 'prepare.'
With SPM due in one year.
I feel awfully ill-prepared.
Oh well, I'll scold myself about that later.
I need to finish reading my story books :)

And I'm hearing too much electronic songs
that I am seriously thinking that it might dumb me down
with the pulsing (but oh so infectious) BOOM BOOM POW (no, not the song.)

And watching TV. But we watched Mulan just now and I don't think that's a bad thing.
We seriously memorized everything they say by heart
even the intonations of their speech and the sound effects
and even how they scream.
If only I remembered my studies like that.
If only.

Anyways, I have no idea why I'm updating this
(even updating it here is still a blur concept)
but I changed my profile picture in Facebook.
No, it's not an "ugly" picture of me.
(By ugly, a moderately good picture that I have
the nerve to caption it as ugly so people would
write nicety-ingested comments to me.)
No. But it's a picture of Hades from Disney's Hercules?
Why?
For the awareness of child abuse.
And if I could do only that, then it's fine for me.
Why Hades?
Because...um, no real cause.
He's cool like that.

my status :


comments on the picture :



I kind of whitened Chan's picture there to avoid...identify theft.
(Since it's easy because all of our pictures are cartoons.)



Stardom Here I Come

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 I was like "WHAAAT?"

I was ogling at my friend's laptop screen.
She has mad skills in Photoshop yo.
And she was designing the school yearbook cover.
An honor. An honor.
Is it too early to say this but:
This is by far the best yearbook cover EVAH.

(Did I tell you how maniacally skillful she was in Photoshop?)

Not just because there's me in it.
Well, I am not intending to be narcissistic
but the size of the photo of me was so small
that it could be pull off that I was not even in it.
The design has some memorable pictures from this year

There was Bren and Steph and I was squinting to make sure
to see this tudung-clad girl between them in a yellow Comet outfit
and I was like, "Is this...me?"
"Yup."

GAH D:
No way, ho-zay.
I'm in the yearbook cover!

What next, Vogue?



My Eyes Are Staring At The Screen Like A Madman

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This is SO BAD.
I shouldn't.
But I did.

Drank two more cups of teh tarik for two days in a row.

Not good.
Not good.

I can feel my pupils dilating
and I'm jumping on my seat 
because of under-activity.

I'm shivering like I just dunked my head in a gallon of water below zero temperature.

Yet, I feel invincible.


You'd Always Make Me Feel Like A Teen Forever, Metro Station

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The longevity of Shake It by Metro Station.

The very first time I heard this song, I instantly like it.
The message is clear and simple: Shake it.

So shake it, I will.

It had its prime two years ago (if I recall correctly) where
it played on airwaves constantly and 
blasted on shops' radios everywhere I go.
Then, I tried to run away when it comes up.

Sometimes, the tune drifted into my mind
and I have to stop myself from whatever I was doing
and figure out what is this sudden tune's name.

Now, when in the rare moments I catch it on the radio,
the song hits me back and I had never grow weary of it
after the buzz about it died down.

Probably, after 20 years from now,
I'd still feel the same way hearing this song.
It just really takes me back.
And I'm still sixteen.

:)


There Were Frogs, Fairies and A Rich Mole

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After one week of school holidays,
what's my prediction for the five weeks
still ahead?

Anything but productive.

I tried my hardest to make my day as fulfilling as I could manage.
I couldn't manage that much.
I write, draw and listen as much as I can
and yet, I feel like my life is leaking away.

I need to go out more.
Should it be that?
An adventure?
A Great If?
Well, not like I can get a car ride to go anywhere,
much less to a Great If.

Last night, my sister and I
were high on teh tarik.
We couldn't sleep a wink.
It sort of when you're undergoing surgery
and your anesthesia didn't work.
You want to fall asleep so badly
but your mind doesn't let you.

We ended up having a blast from the past
about a little movie we saw when we were children called

We were remembering the characters, the plot, the songs they sang.
The whole she-bang.
We haven't thought about that movie in ages.



Teh Tarik does things to you.



A Spike, It's A Doozy

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Holy.

I'm not even going to end that.

I just logged in and checked out my blog
when I flicked my eyes to the right to my widgets.
And I went, "That CAN'T be right."
40 views overnight?
I don't think so.

But alas, checking my stats,
there was a serious jump on my views.
It's looked like the stock market upside down.
And all to my Some Playlist Fun post.

You people really like that game, huh?

Thank you.
Just. Thank you. For clicking.

Although, I may not post up a new playlist game a long time.

Maybe my blog would be a little more down-low after this.
(Ahaha, pathetic.)



Some Playlist Fun

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This Cheap Post is really long.
Drink a cup of tea while reading.
Seriously, it's long.
I have three playlist shuffle game.
So better have something to munch on.
The answers are funny enough though.


Put your music library on shuffle.
For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! 
Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.
Ok, go!



1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say
Motion Sickness, Call The Cops --- I get it. I get it.

2. How would you describe yourself?
Bushes, Hot Chelle Rae --- I don't have an afro. You mean, I should?

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Get Close, Call The Cops --- hohohoho

4. How do you feel today?
Misguided Ghosts, Paramore --- story of my life.

5. What is your life’s purpose?
Think About It, Danger Radio --- cause I'm not going to tell you.

6. What's your motto?
The Big Bang, Rock Mafia --- I'm the bang. What can I say?

7. What do your friends think of you?
Like A Star, Corrine Bailey Rae --- :)

8. What do you think of your parents?
We Are Golden, Mika --- you truly are <3

9. What do you think about very often
Tsuiko Merry Go Round, onelifecrew --- merry-go-rounds? Okay, I like them :D

10. What is 2 + 2?
Strawberry Avalanche, Owl City --- makes sense.

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?
So Shaken Up, Danger Radio --- those crazy people I love ;)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Misery, Maroon 5 --- oh my gosh! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

13. What is your life story?
Strut, Adam Lambert --- I got swagger like that.

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
First of the Gang to Die, Zee Avi --- apa? tetapi... :'(

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Hello, G-Dragon --- why...hello S;) 

 16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
She's A Lady (Forever the Sickest Kids) --- yes. Yes I am

17. What will they play at your funeral?
Emergency (Paramore) --- too late for that D:

18. What is your biggest fear?
Live Like We're Dying (Kris Allen) --- I don't wanna look like a zombie, okay?

19. What is your biggest secret?
The Bird and the Worm (Owl City) --- WHAT?

20. What will you post this as?
Use Somebody (original: Kings Of Leon, cover: Paramore) --- blah.


Tunes shuffle game

1. How Are You Feeling Today? 

One More Chance, Danger Radio --- bored.

2. Will I get Far In Life? 

Sunday Morning, Maroon 5 --- till then only??? D':

3. What Is my Best Friend’s Theme Song? 

The Beach, All Time Low --- hey! She loves this song! Spot on!

4. What is/Was Middle School Like? 

Again, YUI --- no. I WILL NOT REPEAT IT EVAR.

5. What is The Best Thing About Me? 

Sway, Michael Buble --- ;D

6. How Was Yesterday? 

Brighter, Paramore --- it was sunny.

7. What is my Love Life Like? 

Decode, Paramore --- pfft. Twilight-ish? Then where's my vampire?

8. What will my Parents Say To me? 

Boy In a Rock'n'Roll Band, The Pierces --- apa? how did you found out? D:

9. What Song Will They Play On My Funeral? 

Drop The Girl, Hit The Lights --- LOWER THE CASKET DON'T FREAKING DROP MEEEE!!!

10. How Does The World See Me? 

You & Me, Danger Radio --- always and forever?

11. What do My Friends Really Think Of Me? 

Whoever She Is, The Maine --- like that lah you! D':

12. What is the secret is the world keeping from me?

Lonely In Gorgeous --- I'm not gorgeous? Is that what you're telling me?

13.  How Do I make Myself Happy? 

Home, Michael Buble --- aww...so true :')

14. What Should I Do With My Life? 

Meet Me In The Equinox, Death Cab For Cutie --- What for? 

15. Will I Have Children? 

Magic, Robin Thicke --- THEY ARE GOING TO BE WIZARDS AND GO TO HOGWARTS?? :DD

16. What is Good Advice? 

Be On You, Ne-Yo --- hah? That ain't good advice.

17. What does everyone Else Think Of My Current Life? 

I'll Make the Moves, Scenes and Sirens --- kinda...kinda bad-ass there, yeah.

18. What Type Of Men/Women Do I like? 

Walk On Water Or Drown, Mayday Parade --- so like...sadists?

19. Where Will I Live? 

Saltwater Room, Owl City --- BEST ROOM TO LIVE EVER. FREE SALTS MANN.

20. What Will My Dying Words Be?

Heartache Tonight, Michael Buble --- dude, like, I'm going TO DIE.


All you gotta do is put your itunes on shuffle 
and answer each question with the first line of the song.
Got it?
Okay, let’s begin

1. Your first words were? I need this like air in my lung --- Last One Standing, Hot Chelle Rae 
(Very cool first words, I got to say.)

2. When you fell down from your bike, what did you say?  And we both go down together, we'd stay there forever --- I'd Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About, Mayday Parade
 (OH MY GOSH IS THIS FOR REAL? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

3. What do your friends think of you? High-rise, veins of the avenue, bright eyes and subtle variations of blue, everywhere is balanced there Like a rainbow above you --- Rainbow Veins, Owl City 
(that's so pretty!)

4. What do you think about your friends?  I'm in trouble --- Trouble, Nevershoutnever 
(need I say more?)

5. What was the first thing you said to your crush?  I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EMERGENCY I THINK WE'RE HAVING AN EMERGENCY --- Emergency, Paramore 
(HOW FREAKING WEIRD IS THIS GAME???)

6. What was the first thing your crush said to you?  I-I am w-who-who I am --- I Am Who I Am, The Cab 
(Who the hell is this crush? A robot?)

7. How did you respond? I'm through with standing in line in clubs I'll never get in --- Rockstar, Nickelback (A ROBOT BOUNCER?)

8. What did you say when your best friend and you were having a fight? Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor --- Need You Now, Lady Antebellum 
(How sad…)

9. What is the line that describes what you’re feeling? I'm tired and I'm reckless and I CAN'T GO HOME --- Room 410, Call the Cops 
(Can I just say again how creepy this game of coincidence is?)

10. What is your message to the world?  Out of friends at an end for sure when you've got no side to side with. You deal with that --- Say What You Wanna Say, Hit The Lights 
(um...okay.)

11. What was the first thing you said in your wedding vows?  It's true that I'm a silver shadow and you are always on my mind --- Can You Keep A Secret?, The Cab 
(very sexy wedding vows eh eh eh?)

12. What did your husband/wife say on their wedding vows?  I'm in love with a girl I hate --- She's A Lady, Forever the Sickest Kids 
(Aww…that is so SWEET. Like seriously. I'm not even being sarcastic! 
No, really. Not sarcastic. I'd melt hearing that.)

13. What are the first lyrics you will dance to on your wedding?  Why do people smile when no one's smiling, it's cause they're thinking of someone they're loving --- The Sweetest Love, Robin Thicke 
(Coincidence? I think NOT!)

14. When you’re scared, what do you usually say?  I've been alone with you inside my mind --- Hello, Lionel Richie-Glee Cast Version 
(CREEEEEEPY)

15. When you cry, what do you usually say? The sun is SO HOT, the drinks are SO COLD --- Double Vision, 3OH!3 
(Everything's wrong with me!)

16. When you’re angry, what do you usually say?  I came, you went, was there something I should have said? --- I'm A Wonder, The Cab 
(why am I being the apologetic one?)

17. You cry over what words? Paris, France to Michigan, London town and through Berlin, can't believe this place I'm in. Everywhere and back again --- Somebody To Love, Leighton Meester 
(Pretty, um, vogue.)

18. What did you say when you told your/or your partner friends that you were pregnant?  So this is how it goes, well I, I would have never known --- Brighter, Paramore 
(haha. I didn't plan on getting pregnant? Funny...)

19. What did they say?  I am thinking about you and how we use to be and it didn't have to end, we could start again --- Do You Remember, Jay Sean 
(WHATCHU TALKING ABOUT BOY?)

20. What’s your biggest secret?  So hot, out the box --- For Your Entertainment, Adam Lambert 
(UMM.)

21. When you breakup with someone what do you say?  You know I know how to make em stop and stare as I zone out --- Club Can't Handle Me, Flo Rida
 (I'm in demand, yo.)

22. Your first thought when you wake up?  For the years that I known you baby, I can figure out why lately you've been acting so cold --- I'm Sorry I Don't Love You No More, Craig David 
(Am I talking to my pillow or something?)

23. What are the last words you will say?  
I saw a spider I didn't scream 
--- One of the Boys, Katy Perry 
(Yeah, I died instead.)


What I'd Do For Ice-Cream

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This was a dream I had yesterday night.
One of the most ridiculous dreams I've ever remembered in my life.
Following this would be pure fiction created by my unconscious mind. 
Start.

I was in City Mall with my sister.
We were just roaming around, with no real intentions.
(In  my dreams when I'm in a mall, there would always be a carpet shop
or a Malay clothes shop. I don't know why. This dream was no exception.)

The next thing I remember was that we were near an ice-cream booth.
It only sold two things : chocolate & peppermint ice-cream.

If you buy only the chocolate or only the peppermint it would cost you about RM6
but weirdly in this dream, if you want both at the same amount it will
cost you back RM9.
See? Getting ridiculous already.
But it doesn't stop there.
Guess who was selling it?

Megamind.
Yeah.
Him.
Out of all the male characters that crosses my mind everyday,
my mind chose a blue alien with a big forehead that has a fish as his sidekick.
Aaaaiiissssshhhhhhhhhh.

Surprisingly, Dream Me isn't so different than Reality Me.
Both of us thought paying an additional RM3 for the ice-cream was beyond madness.
I was slightly proud of myself that I retained my stingy persona even in Dreamland.

So I gave up at the prospect of indulging myself on ice-cream
but before I left I said to Dream Megamind,
"What's left, save for me, okay?"
And I winked.
I winked at Megamind.

What the hell was wrong with me?
I know it didn't really happen 
but that must be one of the most embarrassing things 
I have ever done in my life.

I can't believe I'm such a sell out for ice-cream.
I'm so cheap. Cheap. Cheap. CHEAP.
Would I do anything for ice-cream?
I even winked to character voiced by Will Ferrell?
I'm very disappointed with Dream Me.
Very. 




And here is another dream
where it ends with me having no ice-cream.
*
At least this other post had a better hero.



Our Final Dream

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We dream of hope, we dream of change, of fire, of love, of death. And then it happens; the dream becomes real, and the answer to this quest, this need to solve life's mysteries finally shows itself like the glowing light of the new dawn. So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic and the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred. To connect. And to know in our hearts...that we are not alone.

---Heroes, Season 1




Electrocuted by A Band

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this image came into my head from the song
One In A Million by Breathe Electric






more accurately the part which goes :
It's never black and white it seems...to be a shade of grey between


behind the scenes...

I was thinking of making three copies of it and have one white, one black and a grey one between to be one whole picture. But my Photoshop has problems so I couldn't make that vision come true :(
Maybe I should buy a better one.
(Eheheheh...)

This guy (what's the name? Let's just name him Electro, since I can't think of anything better right now and I'll edit the name later and hey, why won't make a salute to Breathe Electric for inspiring him), anyways, he took so long to finish. He has the most infuriating style I had ever been forced to draw. 

While drawing the bottom half of the shirt, I shouted to it, 
"Why won't you draw your f*cking self?!"
(Of course, I just mouthed the F word.)

It was the stupid jacket and its stretchy thing at the end. (Check out the Rock chain on the right hand. Why did I even bothered on the details?). After sketching and thinking it looked pretty good, I thought that should get it done by tonight. Just after outlining the left sleeve it dawned to me: this is going to take some time.

 I hadn't have my lunch and when I become finally aware of my surroundings like I just came out from a basement I've been kidnapped to for ten years, it was already near 7 pm. I just realized that my hands were shaking from lack of glucose. And I wasn't thinking clearly as well. 

After completing it, I should have put off the scanning for tomorrow. I didn't. Instead, I took out the printer/scanner and while plugging pendrive in so I could move it to my laptop so I could retouch it there, but I electrocuted myself with the metal holder. Three times. 

My mind, which was already not thinking well, buzzed like I had a jugful of coffee. I couldn't handle speech properly. My mind can't process things fast enough. I fear to touch water.

Yeah, things like these happen to me.

Good news is...I got better. I'm not that hyped up. I can still enunciate 'enunciate.'
I can still touch water. (BIG score for that! I would have died within three days.)

Stupid electric.
Wait. I just noticed that this is VERY ironic.
I drew a piece because of Breathe Electric and got electrocuted trying to finish it.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

No.
No 'HAHA.'
Stupid band. 

I almost died.





*but I still love yoooooou

Radio? Stereo?

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" You told me to lie.
I told you to die. "



Not 3 minutes after I post this as my Facebook status,
I've got wave of responses for it.
I have no idea how these things get into my head.
A transmission?



Why Does My Name Have To Be So Fancy?

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Confession:

One of the reasons why I am in the Editorial Board
is to make sure that my name is spelled correctly.

With a name with 'Q' in it, how can I not be paranoid?



Three More Things Won't Get Me Fat

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Mmm. My sister's SPM is tomorrow.
I have to finish my work for yearbook.
Also update on my stories so that my creative juices keep flowing.
(Ideas are so gone. Everything has been there, done that stamped on it.)
We are going to move after SPM too.

Sounds like a relaxing holiday?
I need more ice-cream.

I had one before because my Mum needed to fill up the gas tank
because my Dad is going to drive her car to the airport and 
he grumbles about how little the oil is in the tank so my Mum and I
went to a Shell Station near my school and got some ice-cream---and oil.

The people that work there are very friendly.

Me Lady Guy

Dua ice-cream. Four ringgit please.
*hands RM10*
Okay...mahu plastic?
Yeah...yeah... :)
*gives back change and puts stuffs in plastic*
Sudu mahu?
Y-yeah... :)
Okay...jap
*looks in a drawer*
Eh, mana sudu ni?
Ada sudu kah?
Ini?
*holds up a bent plastic spoon*
Ada lain kah?
Itu saja yang mereka bagi.
Sori miss, tiada sudu lah.
Ah, ni hah.
*gives wooden spoon*
Okay. Thank you.
Thanks.

Then Mum had the foresight to see that two ice-creams
were not enough because I have five siblings at home.
I only bought two for my Sister and I.
Apparently in Mathematics:

2<5

Therefore : 2/5 = 0.4

Hence, we are NOT going to share 0.4 of the ice-creams among ourselves.

So, I have to get out of the car once more
and purchase three more.
On my way to the cashier, the floor was wet and I bumped to an old guy.
We simultaneously said "Sorry."
I'm always scared to bump into strangers especially old men
because my past experience with them was either looking at you pervertedly or 
staring at you angrily for invading their private space with your elbow or hips.

But this man must have a good day with the awesome
customer service in that gas station where they greeted
him with an enthusiastic, "Hello, Sir!" (Regular visitor? Perhaps.)
That he just glanced at me, smiling as I payed for the ice-creams.

The guy who was on the cashier before looked at me
disapprovingly at the +3 ice-cream I was paying.
I almost wanted to blurt out that I had a lot of siblings
but thought better of it and decided not to justify myself.

I wasn't that fat.


I'd Rather Be Alone Too

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See, I have this theory. Whether it's fate or choice, people break down into only two categories. You're either a robot, or an alien. My debate teacher would call that reductive. I call it a neat expression of a larger truth. Robots operate out of programs — conventional logic. They follow the rules. Robots scan the world from side to side. Aliens are more... abstract thinkers. If they need to break a rule to keep their own paths, they do. Without fear. Aliens look down and up... when they choose to. I'm not condemning one or the other, but, I'd rather be alone than be surrounded by robots. And robots could never even see someone like me."


--West Rosen, cute guy from Heroes Season 1

Tommy's Birthday

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I finally got my Final Exam's English Paper back.
This would be my last installment of
I'M SO SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO DIE, TERI

Seriously. I can't get enough him.

Right, so if you don't know what I'm talking about
then please READ THIS.
Are you reading it?
You should by know because if you don't then you won't get it
and you would think I'm writing some nonsensical thing that
wouldn't make sense and I'm just writing some 'inside story'
that I shouldn't reveal to you because it's my own personal, sad story.
No.
This is my own personal, sad story that involves a fictional character



Did you finish reading it?
If your answer is…
YES. I did. I know the whole story now so thank you for pressuring me to click the link : Carry on.
NO. I dislike you for forcing me to read. BE GONE : you don't deserve to continue reading.


So. The question for this English Essay now is that we have to start with a sentence that goes, "It was a beautiful morning…" I was very, very tempted to write "Not." Very Meg Cabot, but decided against it and wrote something in honor of Teri - again. (I know what you are thinking: Does this girl really want to write essays about Teri all semester long? The answer is a Maybe but I am confirming that this would be the last time I will write about him for this year. I believe I should start afresh the next year. But I am seriously upset this. Oh well. Chin up. Don't look back.)

As always, the grammatical error in my Original Essay would be kindly ignored and rewritten. As an added effect, I was very pleased on who narrates for this story. Guess who. Guess who. Aw, you'd be right.

Here it is.

"

It was a beautiful morning, a rare occurrence in Bluesky Woods. The sun was shooting rays of light, peeking shyly through the veils of clouds. I watched outside through my window at nature on this beautiful day. The birds were singing a high-pitch melody, flying in flocks around town. I did not even knew there were that many birds here before.

My name is Tommy and today is my birthday.

Bluesky Woods, despite the sunny name, was anything but for the past seven years. Dark clouds assemble almost everyday. Torrents of rain pours continuously, making us one of the wettest towns in the state. The trees naked of leaves, the grass brown as the ground and the flowers, well, they were non-existent.

This is why today I watched through my window, as closely as I could as my breath condenses against the glass, the nature that unfolds before me. It was as if I were wearing rose-tinted glasses. A burping sound came behind me and I glanced back.

On the floor, next to my bed was Tracy, my little sister of four years. She has large, brown eyes (my mother said that they were identical to mines) and was holding up her small hand that looked like delicate sausages to her mouth.
"Tracy, say 'excuse me' after you burp."
"'Cuz me."
" Good girl."
She smiled appreciatively and returned to play with her toys on the floor.

It has been seven years after Teri's death.

What I know of my brother, or what little I remember of him, ended with his funeral ten days after his body was found. I heard countless rumors spiraling around his mysterious death. They said he died with opened eyes and gaping mouth, they wondered about the gash in his left arm and how did he die in the park, overlooking the lake.

Growing up, I heard a lot of condolences from strangers. About how kind he was, how good looking he was, how he coveted his little brother. To me, Teri was a face I know, a hand I held, who played with me when I asked him to steer my toy truck. The same toy truck Tracy was playing right now.

I remembered I did not speak much after Teri died. I guess I was searching for the man who played with my toy truck. When Tracy entered into the family (a pink thing with hair, I recalled thinking the first time I saw her), she was quite a show-stealer, which everybody said another thing she got from me.

I watched with fascination as a squirrel climbed up to a tree hole faster than anything I saw that could climb. I heard the sounds of wheels approaching down the lane. A girl with long, red hair was riding a bicycle. She passed by my house, saw me looking out the window and smiled, riding along. I think I knew her in my class but I can't seem to think of anything right then.

Slowly, I wondered if it would be nice to have a trip to the park. I could bring Tracy along. We could play at the shallow end of the lake and pile up stone towers. I felt an inkling inside me. How did Teri feel like when he died? Was the lake the last thing he saw? I hoped it looked beautiful that time. For Teri's sake.

It was a beautiful morning on my birthday.
And I thank you to whoever sent me this gift.


"