Furs & Feathers

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Photo Operation:

I was watching TV with my sister if I'm not mistaken a week ago and I just looked up and saw a bird perched on top of my neighbor's antenna (I'm not quite sure what that antenna is for but I don't really care). I did not know what drew me to it but I suddenly have a strong feeling to take a photo. Luckily, my camera phone was with me. (Always, and I mean always, when I want to shoot a photo of something that is a 'spur of the moment' stuff, my phone which has a camera will never be with me and I missed out some, perhaps not particularly amazing but at least memorable potential pictures.) So I just had to take the picture of the bird.

I didn't really get a chance to go outside, fearing that the bird would fly away anytime.
So I just took this picture from inside my house. I can't really take a good shot of it from here
but I did my best. And the bird was still there.

This kind of annoys me because by now, I'd taken twelve different shots of the bird
and was expecting it to chirp merrily away but I guess it really liked the view
from my neighbor's antenna because it stayed there until I got bored and turned away from the window.

Now here's another picture.

Now here's my cat, Mohinder 
(yes, my brother named it after the guy in Heroes and this cat is a female, hence, 
we still call it a 'he' but we all know that it gives birth. No offense to Sendhil Ramumarthamy.)
I just thought it was cute that my cat was leaving its fur and cute paw prints all over the car.
(Often when we go out of the house, we would ogle at the paw prints left on the car's
front screen and began to coo on how cute it was. If the cats burnt our house down,
we would seriously still be puckering our lips, saying,
"Aww...can they really use their itsy bitsy paw to light a matchstick? So cute!")

Mohinder looks like he's (she's) contemplating something.

Oh wait, no, just an itch. 
False alarm.

I just took a few snapshots of him (her) licking himself (herself) and
leave him (her) in his (her) bliss of cleanliness. 
Shooing him (her) away completely slipped my mind.

When There's Nothing Else To Write

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I write a post that you shouldn't read
but if you're still stubborn, go ahead.
Don't blame me for I wasting your valuable time.
And you found me rudely sarcastic in the morning,
I'm sorry but I'm not a morning person.

Like I said, I'm home.
I have no idea what they're doing in school now.
Most likely it's not the fun part yet.
Today is Franciscan's Day so
my school is celebrating it by not having class.
Fine by me.
(Fun Part : gifts, food, & movie!)

But I'm afraid I didn't feel like going.

I feel like drinking some teh tarik,
though I felt a little scrupulous over it.
I would go all maniac and it's never a time to do that.
Except at night.

I read a Charlaine Harris book last night
and I was slightly confused when I woke up.
Like the characters woke up with me.
I sincerely confess I did not drink teh tarik last night.
This is what you get for reading it non-stop for six hours.

So what am I doing now?
Well, here is my guide of things to do when you're at home
when you're suppose to be at school:

1. Fix yourself a drink. Drink it. Feel better that you made it yourself.
2. Get something to read. Read it while drinking. You're multi-tasking.
3. Watch some TV. If there is no Smart Card because your sister made
a horrible suggestion to Dad that he should take it away so she could
concentrate on her upcoming Malaysian Education Certificate (SPM),
contemplate on an elaborate plan to steal it back. That would probably fail.
4. Download some music. You should update your playlist anyway.
5. Complain to people who are still in the house about how boring it is here.
6. Read that book you left when you were complaining.
7. Try and make up a fictional conversation about what your friends think
about you skipping school. "Should we leave a lizard in her drawer?"
8. Be super glad that you're home then at school. Think of how smarter you are.
9. Read back the book after you stop daydreaming. Cry over the absence of TV.

And there it is.
It would be fully understandable if you choose not to follow these steps.
Your lost.

there's this creepy little feeling...
look behind you!

hahaha...caught you.
(I don't think I need teh tarik.)

Sleep In September

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Probably my last post for September.

blue thing : what?
purple thing : :p

My Final Exam for Add Maths just ended
I'm not going to get top in Add Maths, I predict.
A+ for everything is draining down the toilet like a dead goldfish.
Ah, well.
I tried.

On to a more lighter note,
I am not going to school tomorrow!
Reason :
I woke up today, after reviewing Add Maths till night,
and said,
"I am so not going to school tomorrow."
That's why.
So don't stop me.

I am very exhausted after answering the questions.
I want to plop dead on this laptop right now,
if it were not because my hands that are getting in my way.

So I bid farewell now,
before this posts goes 2038hr2nwefdnd;.3vf
like that.

if I were to ask you to wake me up when September ends,
you'd wake me up by midnight.
no thank you.

(oh my, did seriously wrote that?
I am sorry, my head is not working as properly as it should be.
Please forgive for having to read that horrible paragraph.
I think it's a sign that I really need some sleep. So I shall.)

have a fearsome October.

Won't You Love To Be The Center of My Universe?

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You cruelly wish to.

I Kind Of Whimpered

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This person takes lovely pictures.
I kind of fell in love with the coldness.

I don't know why but I can think so much clearly while looking at this picture. A million things are buzzing through my head and I have an urge to write like there's no tomorrow. I am having strong, (slightly weird), magnetic fixation to this photo. The bay, the model, the empty space. Lovely.

He's Realistic

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"There was a never a day wasted where I can't resist the wind on my face.
It's tasteless but it's delicious. I guess that's the feeling of living in the moment.
Perhaps, if I could choose the way I die, it'd be falling off a cliff.
Or at least, in front of a fan."

- Deimus

Crime, Psychology & Undergarments

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Something is really riding up.
Not undergarment-wise. 
I wish.

I think I have just had another relevation of Who Ashiqin Is.
I can't cope with stress.

Which is bad because stress is pretty much imminent in this world. And I'm in high school.
(Checked if spelled 'imminent' correctly. It looked like an exact copy. Score.)
I had a feeling about this a few months before when I was suppose to some facts of accomplishments from this former senior for my then-trainee job as an Editorial Board Member.
Introverted and all, my initial reaction was : Who the frig is this?
I instantly hyperventilated like I was about to jump off a cliff (which isn't as bad as this job, when you have parachute or a glider but if you don't well...it's still better than this job.) I also fear because this is my probational job and if I messed up by failing to find this Senior Who Ran A Lot, then this would psychologically undermine my self-esteem and I could never pluck up the courage to enter Psychology Studies because I'm such a emotional-wayward myself.
This thing could ruin my life.

After a few minutes of calming myself and lying to myself, "I can do this...I can do this..." I finally manage a shaky hand to open my laptop to find this Senior Who Has Impressive Co-Curricular Marks on the internet. Google, save me for once.

Then, I got a text:

Hey, you know that text just now? Forget it. I got it under control already. Thank you for trying.

Oh, sweet relief! I can't even feel the rage at myself for getting so worked up over nothing at all because I was too busy cuddling my soon-to-be-PhD-title.
God is Great.

But by now, a few months later after that, I began to worry of I show signs of distress of stress.
Yes. I got stress out of stress (which would manifest into more stress, so as to put it, it would be like one vicious cycle of stress leading to stress into more stress until I...explode? Combust? Barf?)
I have to say I'm pretty dissapointed in myself. I need to get myself together.
If I can't handle this, what will be my working career? A black-hole? 

Definitely a black-hole.

Though to debate myself, I am usually not that stressed. The thing that gets me stress is lack-of-information. Lack of information usually leads to poor work quality that would lower expectations of people who would write my file to show my future university or teachers, and my chancellor (does chancellor check the future students out? Hardly unlikely. Scout maybe) chancellor scout would be wagging a 'no no no' finger at me and I would get denied from that university because of that Co-Curriculum Information Form that I did not excel in completing and I am forced to say farewell to my Psychology Degree and that would seriously make me sad.
Can't you see why lack of information of the attendance of The Crime Prevention Club stresses me???

Egg sunny-side up: I am so not stressed if my future employer gave me TONS of paperwork and I have all the information at my fingertips. That'll be just dandy :)

BTWFYIGLOO, I'm still stressed.


P.S. There is a 'Crime Prevention Club.' No joke. And I'm the Secretary.

Lunch In The Evening

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I need some glucose.
Exams are papers. Nothing more. Nothing to fear.
(You are scared of papers? Pfft.)
Final Exam.
Not studying.
Maths finished.
Physical Ed. next to study/skim/flip/not focus on/burn
(There's a test for that, for reals?)

Sorry for the previous post and get you people all down.
That little, irritable wart is in my life again.
Never mind.
I'm happy now.
Cause I'm thinking of eating lunch at 6 pm :)

See you in...October?
I'll leave you with this *muah*
You so lucky.

kitty in the sink.
that's how I'll feel after exam.

My Shoes Are Ready

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My heart races so fast when I saw that.
So fast. I can't remember the last time it could do that.
Even now, after all these years, you know how
to pull my heart-strings like a veteran puppet-master.

But you changed.
You turned. I don't know you.
We both did.

My phase of stupidity sailed.
And I grew stronger and prouder.
But I fear if my heart turns colder.

Who to say I could accept again?
Who to know when?
I pray to Allah to keep my heart open.
Don't close it. Don't close it.

I keep on telling myself how I moved on.
We both changed.
So we both did.
It was all my fault. I dug my own grave.
You weren't apart of this twisted game.

And no matter how much I want to see you again,
my mind told me to turn the other way.
I'll follow my mind.
Because that's what my teacher taught me.

I'm not stupid. No more.
The only one I should, and rightfully love is Allah.
God still loves me. Even when I can't hardly love myself.

Thank you for entering my life.
Now goodbye. You overstayed your visit.

You don't want to leave?
I'll walk.

I Tried It. My Cheeks Hurt.

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Try and type 'Kittens' in Google. 
Then go to Images.
You won't believe how many times you need to 'AWWWW!!!'
One of the most satisfying Search Results I have ever made.


Paint Job #1

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Since the Holidays began, I thought I could make
some creative efforts while stuck at home.

Here is one of the things I dabbled with Paint :

click on it for a bigger view.
share it if you like it

The Pocket-Watch.

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I revel a blank page. There are too many in this world. Too much things to be filled, with such a limited time in our small, grasping hands. There would always be an anecdote to write, a sketch to draw, a speech to say; I can't keep up with the train. When can I find the time to live in the now and not worry of the going tickings? There are too many paces to be done in such a short distance. Will God give me a long life to finish it all till I'm an empty, hollow box? Or will I never come undone and my works in this world would be just poor copies to be finished on the other side? Endless wonder.
With such a small pocket watch.

I drew this cause I had the time.
Don't hate me.


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Cheap Post. I copied this from Facebook.
Sue me.
But I love to share what I'm listening to.


1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. 
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

Note : This is REALLY what I click next. 
I never change it to another one because I think 'it doesn't fit.'
All of this is original.

If someone says 'are you okay', you say?
Think About It, Danger Radio

How would you describe yourself? 
Bottle It Up, Sara Bareilles

What do you like in a guy/girl? 
Haven't Met You Yet, Micheal Buble

How do you feel today? 
Rock That Body, Black Eyed Peas

What is your life's purpose? 
Boy In A Rock'n'Roll Band, The Pierces

What's your motto? 
Sparkle Baby Shine, Danger Radio

What do your friends think of you? 
When I Get Home You're So Dead, Mayday Parade

What do your parents think of you? 
I Knew It Wasn't Love, Call the Cops

What is 2 + 2? 
Slow, Danger Radio

What do you think of your best friend?
If I Had You, Adam Lambert

What is your life story? 
My Heart, Paramore

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Live Like We're Dying, Kris Allen

What do you think when you see the person you like? 
So Shaken Up, Danger Radio

What will you dance to at your wedding? 
Heart You Stole, Danger Radio

What will they play at your funeral? 
Six Feet Under The Stars, All Time Low (oh. haha)

What is your hobby/interest? 
Disturbia, The Cab

What is your biggest fear?
The Only Exception, Paramore

What is your biggest secret? 
White Dress, Call the Cops

What do you want right now? 
Queen of My Heart, Westlife

What do you think of your friends?
Another Lesson In Love, Danger Radio

What will you post this as?
Everything, Micheal Buble

UPDATE: So I played again and here are some new questions that was asked.

What is the name of your shampoo?
Bushes, Hot Chelle Rae

If someone sent you a bouquet of flowers, what would the note in it say?
How You Love Me Now, Hey Monday

and the creme of the crop:

What would be the first words your husband say to you?
Drop The Girl, Hit The Lights


Narcissistic Venture

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Out of curiosity, I followed this blog
(Hyperbole and A Half, you can see it down there)
and used an interesting website that was mentioned in it.

Urban Dictionary.
It is useful, and funny, to check out what your name is
in the eyes of the people of the internet.
So I put 'Ash' in
and here are the results:

I especially favored the 3rd option.
Come on: chainsaw and bionic gauntlet!

okay, now I'm blushing.

so the result to this narcissistic venture?
it was fun.

Miracle Happens. No Lie.

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We live in a Yes and No World.
(I love meeting the Whys and Why Nots.
Fun people with no surface of regrets.)

So to me, I'd ask my parents a lot of those '"Can I...?" questions
that needed be answered by either 'Yes' or 'No! ARE YOU CRAZY?'
And since I've become a teenager the "Can I...?"s become more frequent.
My Mum would be the first one to ask. If she gives a green flag, 
on to the next checkpoint, my Dad.
(My life is like The Amazing Race in that way.)

My Mum would be blunt: she puts me out of my misery quickly.
"Hey Ma, can I go to this place and place
with my friends this time and time?"
"-If your Dad said yes."
(There would always be that line.)

My Dad. Well...he's special.
"Hey Pa, can I go to this place and place
with my friends this time and time?"


"Hey Pa, can I go to this place and place
with my friends this time and time for school?"
and i take that as a yes.

He can't say yes.
I have no idea why.

Until Now.
*Cue Track Huge Spider Rampaging The City*
Oh my.

Tonight, my Dad iss going to an Open House.
I bounded near him, as he puts on his shoe.

"Hey, Pa. Is that your first time wearing [those shoes]?"
"No. I wore it a few times."
"Mmfff. So tight oh."
"Did it fit before?"
*Opens door*
"Bye Pa."

---Brother talks Stuff to Dad as he makes his way to his car.---

"Pa, can I open the internet?"
"NO." Brother said, obvious.
"Yes." Dad said, NOT OBVIOUS.
But my head was seeing stars at the moment.
I never heard my Dad said 'Yes' to me in
the sixteen years of my existence.


Theme Song Part 1

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If an army zombie have taken over your world, as the leader of the resistance,
you would start the first blow to their capital. What is your theme song
as you rise slowly from the ground with fire blazing around you?

*shuffles playlist*

- Hot Chelle Rae

Okay. That sounds cool as a title. But trust me, it's not a kick-butt song.
It goes 'I bleed my heart on this paper for you...'
Yeah. Ain't this epic.
*ducks down head in total fail*

Molten Stars and Candy Kisses

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I have an awful prescription for these type of poems.
You just need to place a lovely adjective with a romantic object.


Anyways, enjoy this poem if you're the type who likes metaphors : 

( it just SCREAMS metaphors, ay?)

Coffee On A Cold Day

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I love to look back my sketches.
Some just pleasantly surprise me
and some just flat-out horrify me.

Progress = slow but obvious.

When I'm in my mood,
I would see an incomplete/ugly drawing and finish/redo it.

Buzzed with one&a half cup of teh tarik,
I randomly check my one of my sketch book
and got REALLY ANNOYED with one of the
unfinished AND ugly drawing.

So I began to rub off the details and start to revamp it.

reconstruction undergoing.
i forgot to take a 'before' picture.
all of those good-looking features were not there before.


looks better in real life.
I'm sorry. I don't have any quality cameras.
But I've finish this baby at the time of 2.30 am.
And I'm very proud of it.
whee :)
(yes the pink is for indicating my fuzzy feeling of
successfully finishing my project till the wee hours of the morning.)

in case for the curious-minded,
yes, they are sharing coffee.
it was very cold, okay?

"We're warming up as the air got colder."
- Whisper Something Fragile, The Cab

that just floats in.

Traditional Red Carpet

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roll out the carpet.
Syawal is here.

Right On The Money

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"We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self destruction." 
- Plutarch on Human Beings

A Kitten Saves Everything

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No, it can't be true.
For a fraction of a second, my heart stopped.

(Which is ridiculous, if my heart stopped at a fraction
of a second, wouldn't that lead to a comatose or heart-failure?
I'm no doctor, but that doesn't sound like Mirror-of-Health.
Truly, when people fling their words like that, it seems
that they have a permanent death-wish. I don't, but you know,
if I could simplify how shocked I was in a term,
my heart would really stop. Oh my gosh, I think I'm over-thinking.)

let's just see this cute picture of a kitten.



Get Into The Cab

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Forward Note : This is from an old website. 
But I love this post too much to let it go.
So I'm putting it here. Problem : solved.

When I say "I love The Cab."

No joke.

I'm dead serious.

I love this band.

Still not famous here that it seemed undeserving

And it even makes me wonder

WHY hadn't they be big

in the first place

they're freaking awesome.

and i don't say it to just any band.

- a picture from inside of a cab. i found it. its nostalgic :)

"I'm a mess and you're worse,
Just give me time to give
 you a waste of time
One of those nights, when you leave me for no reason
I'll give you a reason.
- One Of Those Nights


With lyrics like that

Can you already tell why I love them?
Plundering over why i never hear their songs in Malaysia
Is still ongoing. They're just too amazing.
One Of Those Nights is a personal favorite.
It has Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy in it :D

- a picture of them performing. love the hair.

"And lately you've been knocking
Oh, but I never really listen or cared
Cuz when I told you I was walking
I was reeling you in with my stare.
- That 70's Song

Mmm, sexy.

And That 70's Song is their first song I heard!
And i love how they harmonized
Really, the vocalist has an amazing voice.

- pretty. i'd take a picture too :D

"Time's out. But keep those tapes rolling
Just in case I say anything brilliant.
Time's out. But keep those cameras rolling,

Just in case I don't look this good forever." 
- I'm A Wonder

- just in case you're wondering again what band am i blabbering about :)

so this is honorable
to write this here
where i should really write an essay
for civic, 'self-vision'.

well this is my vision:
a ticket for the cab!
(you know: just saying.)

"Singing myself to sleep
And you're my favorite melody
... Cuz I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling, can't breathe tonight
And a story will fade to black in sight." 

- Singing Myself To Sleep (Zzzzz)


I like the ending of that song.
Its very nice :)

"It's a long drive back to Vegas skies
So why don't I make one wrong turn tonight?
...They won't let me in but I'm stronger than that
Cuz you stole my eyes and I'll never look back."

- Vegas Skies


I love that ballad song too.
(Okay fine. I love ALL their songs) --- shamelessly saying.

the REAL way on how to catch a cab

How To Start A Day Off

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I just bathed.
When I entered the room, the air was still 
blissfully cold
from the air-conditioner.
(Makes me feel like I'm in Nepal.)

This is one of the favourite ways to start my day.

We need a jam.

I'm feeling like this song to be my background music:

Cooler Than Me

Shopping To-Do

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I saw this in Yahoo! and I can't wait to slip my feet in it

it looks like you aren't even wearing anything

for more information on this Mojito Shoe, click here :)

Swear By This

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"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
- Someone, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban

I'm thinking it might be either Fred-or-George, or Harry.

On My Notepad :

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Bite Out Of The Apple

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I changed my layout for the third time.
I can't keep going around patterns.
So I chose something refreshing to keep
the creative juices flowing :


what's more refreshing than apples?
I dare you to answer.

i bet you're changing your minds RIGHT NOW

I've never seen apples on trees (even in pictures) ever before.

I bet you want some right now :)

Cleaning Out The Cockroach

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Exaggeration Precaution : 

Somehow, cleaning makes my Dad in a good mood.
Not like he's the one doing the cleaning.
But he enjoys watching us do it.
(Like slaves piling on our work with our knees on the floor)

With the Epic Hari Raya Aidilfitri in T-Minus 2 DAYS,
It is a tradition (and hygienic responsibility) to clean the house.
Top to bottom. Side to side. In and out. Exo to endo. (Gone Bio there? My bad.)
And who's going to do it?
Not the men, of course.

Automatically, we women needs to
roll up our sleeves and get ready :
1. A bucket of detergent.
2. A dry mop.
3. A broom.
4. A clean, wet towel.
5. A feather duster.

I confess, my sister and I solely rely on our Mum
to whip us into Cleaning Mode.
Nothing would be done without my Mum.
We would still be lying on our bed for all we care.

Changing the cushion covers (by myself)
is not that annoying nor exhausting.
That did not stop my Dad.

Thank God he did not target on me.

Sis - Dad

Why is the ketchup like that?
*points at four opened ketchup bottles that is all half-full*
I don't know! I don't use ketchup!
Never mind, I still want to leter-leter.

I was too busy cleaning out of my Dad's sight.
Plus, if it were me, I would give him a reasonably sound answer
hinted with anger and frustration and I would end up
with my voice an impressive Mariah-Carey octave.

People who pesters.


I have no idea why but my house is starting 
to be full to the brim with these things.
It's not like our house is that dirty.
Really : it isn't!

And I'm no cockroach-hater or cockroach-lover
but even Animal Rights Activists probably
want to spray the heads off cockroaches.

To eradicate these creepy-crawlies,
my Mum has the common sense to buy a bug-spray.
But not just any Bug-Spray.
It's :
Shieldtox Cockroach Control.

Seriously, this thing is super wicked.
With one ssssssssssttt!!! ,
the cockroach went to heaven.
(Or if it was a bad, bad cockroach : hell.)

Nuclear-resistant MY FOOT.

Though, if this spray-can has the power
to diminish a cockroach out of the face of the earth,
This thing must be lethal to humans, too.

Wouldn't wanna be in an air-tight compartment
when one of these things blow off.
Hari Raya isn't even here yet!
I will not fast for a month to drop dead
because of poisonous gas!

[Killing (or even thinking of killing) cockroaches is fun fun fun!]

Since we humans now go to the nearest grocery mall
for our insatiable need for food,
our blood-lust needs to be entertained somehow.

Now I'm off.
To kill cockroaches?
Only before they do the same to me.

if you're wondering why I have to pictures of that disgusting thing:
while I was on my way in my room after taking this dead cockroach's pic,
I saw another one D:

so I put two pictures of the same cockroach.
to make up for the other one I was to lazy to take.
technically, there's two.