After much evaluation and observation of blogs, articles, popular trends and star alignments (joking on the last one), I have noticed a pattern that young girls would don on as identities these days as a dignified rebellion and stark rejection to ritual Mean Girls clique (if you have never seen the movie, Mean Girls before, you would be completely at loss.) I've compiled a list for any girl that would like to experiment (or succumb to peer pressure) with this identity for social and perhaps, self fulfillment.
Be informed that this is purely a fluff piece and I urge in no way that anyone should take this seriously. Any harm or fatality caused, be it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or relationship from practicing this list is purely the curious' responsibility and no blame should be placed on me, the fluff-writer.
Just have some fun and read a satirical post, won't you?
Now that I have abolished any potential lawsuit that would harbor me, let's start this list!
YOU LOOK TO GENERAL, LET'S CHANGE THAT.
You might think that short skirts and tank tops are the way to go these days to tell the world that are you an individual, unique girl, then you are wrong! But then what should I wear to really, like REALLY, express my individualism? you'd ask. Let me tell you: go for some dark jeans, khakis and oh, what the hell, cargo pants to replace your xxxI'M HOT!!xxx ultra pink neon mini skirt or if you keep on going back to that skirt, a vintage floral one would do as well and the shortest it should go is that it covers half of your thigh. Because you're just too freaking classy.
Screw those tank tops and push-up bras, you're going to wear another vintage floral blouse or a baggy T-shirt with a cartoon on it that looked like it could belong to your boyfriend (if you have one in the first place.) And buy a lot of hoodies. Oh yes, buy loads of those because you need conceal yourself from the glares of the other efftards that goes to your school.
Shoes? Oh, Vans.
Duh.
If you feel fancy and actually feel like you want to dress up for once, you strictly wear feather earrings or something that looks like a dream-catcher. And your pendants are made up from obscure animals like owls, dolphins, whales, pandas, doves or a sloth to signify that you have a similar intellect or freedom or laziness of these animals. Maybe a unicorn too. Because you're unique.
Your rings are mostly made up of things inspired by Paris, opals and vignettes. And you only carry vintage rucksacks to school because they're so small and cute. Don't mind all the extra books your arms have to carry.
Another tip to complete your look: go crazy on your nails. Put some outrageous color on them like Slime Green or Offensive Purple. Or make them look like galaxies. Yeah, that's cool. Also, grow out your hair till it's halfway through your back and dye the end strands with some primary colors that would go great with your hair. Depends on your hairstylist.
WHAT DO YOU READ AND WHO DO YOU LISTEN TO? EVERYBODY CARES.
While all the other girls are mouth-foaming over another brand new three/five/seven books collection of teen romance disguised as paranormal/dystopian, you're in your room enveloped by a blanket, drinking tea and reading one of these author's books: John Green, Haruki Murakami, Lauren Oliver (only Before I Fall, not Delirium), James Patterson, Orhan Pamuk and the classics (Catcher in the Rye, Lolita, anything from Jane Austen.)
And oh, what is that music that is playing in your head? But of course it's Lady Gaga (not Katy Perry, oh hell no) or a little Robyn. And you like to mix it up with Wiz Khalifa and Drake because you're quite sure that you're made up of 100% swag. Also, you love to go nostalgia and hear songs that were made before you were such as from bands like Led Zeppelin, The Beatles or Bee Gees. Because there's nothing like the classic. And you love indie bands so much---Death Cab for Cutie, Band of Horses, Iron & Wine to name a few. Like so so so much. And you hate that they're not popular (but secretly you wish they won't or not you'd hate them.) AND OMG ADELE. LIKE ADELE ADELE ADELE. HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH ADELE? YOU CAN'T.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: SINGLE BUT TAKEN.
Alright, so you're not like the other girls shares faces with their respective boyfriends because you're just too awesome and too unique to interact with boys of your peer.
Here are the type of men that you are just enthralled with:
1. Any guy from a foreign boyband---1Direction, The Wanted, Mindless Behavior
2. Justin Bieber and likewise---Cody Simpson, Greyson Chance blah blah blah (secretly.)
3. Any guy from a band---My Chemical Romance, 30 Seconds to Mars, Panic! At the Disco
4. An actor from Harry Potter---King Weasley (Rupert Grint), Tom Felton, Alan Rickman...oh, Daniel Radcliffe
5. An actor from a literature period-piece movie/mini-series---i.e. any actor from Pride and Prejudice
6. An actor from the hottest currently airing shows
7. Any actor who's foreign and/or twice your age
8. An actor from the Twilight Franchise (admit it)
9. Or Zac Efron
And you are completely obsessed with your shipping/OTPs that takes most of your time you could have used to contact your real friends and have an actual relationship. But who could blame you? It's way more fun inside your head than out.
ONLINE. YES. ALL THE TIME.
One word: Tumblr. That is all.
And you watch Youtube for hottest viral videos you got from Reddit or watch endless interviews of your idol.
You use Facebook to reply that one notification and apparently it was your friend from kindergarten asking you to give some Manure to fertilize his virtual cabbage farm.
AND EATING. ALL THE TIME.
You bake like an angel and you use Nutella to cover everything from peanuts to rice.
You adore junkfood and nothing but junkfood. But you still don't know why you gain weight. But frankly, you don't care.
AND HOW ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO SPEND YOUR TIME.
You finally badgered your parents to get you an IPad ***latest model, IPhone ***latest model, Macbook Pro, a Canon DSLR camera with fish-eye lens, Polaroid camera, Kindle and that toaster that cooks eggs as well. And now you just play with them.
And that comes to show how to really become
that unique 21st century girl
that everyone seems to relate to
and find so attractive.
Have fun! xoxo
(writing this is fun and also quite nauseating. those two may not be linked. maybe.)
